How often do we live our lives trying to fit in?
Striving endlessly to be that person we think we should be? Rather than being our real authentic selves?
Is it time to start fitting out?
Living our life in ‘fit in’ mode is detrimental to our wellbeing.
It can be downright tiring, adding to the stress, overwhelm and fatigue, a bit like fighting against the tide. The eventual result could be a journey down burnout street, as we attempt to be all things to all people. Someone we’re inherently not. Trying to please everyone else with who we should be, how we should look, what we should do. Eating away at who we really are, until somehow, we get lost and forget.
Maybe the journey isn't so much about becoming anything. Maybe it's about un-becoming everything that isn't really you, so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.
So maybe it is time to start fitting out, so you can be the true you. Knowing where to start can be tricky. And what does it actually mean?
Sometimes the very first step in moving forward is identifying what isn’t working for us. Trusting our gut feelings and intuition as to what feels right for us.
I’ve recently been working with a client who has gone through a change at work, let’s call her Suzie. Suzie has come up with a ‘what I don’t want’ list when it comes to her next career move. She is clear on the type of work she doesn’t want to do, and the type of organisation she doesn’t want to work for any longer. Been there, done that. She is at a time in her life where she’s decided it’s time to unbecome everything that isn’t really her. Time to focus on her values and strengths, what gives her energy and brings her joy. To let go of what she has been tolerating and putting up with. Hopping off the hamster wheel of fitting in and rekindling the spark.
Ready to start fitting out?
Getting clear on your values and strengths can be a great place to start. When our values are out of line with our work (paid or unpaid) or in our relationships, things don’t generally go so well. Our values are like our GPS or compass, they keep us heading in the right direction. World Values Day have some great free resources to get you started on mapping out your values and finding you true, authentic self.
Think back – think forward.
Think back to that seven year old you. What did that little person dream of, what did they love to do. Sit quietly and wait for the answers to come. You might be surprised.
Then think forward, and ask that older wiser you, just before you are ready to leave planet earth. What advice does that wise person have for you today?
We have the answers within, sometimes we simply need some help finding them.
That’s what I do as a coach – be your guide on the side so you can discover what is right for you. And start fitting out!
Here’s what Chery Scott had to say recently after a coaching session:
Many thanks for a very succinct coaching session recently that really helped me hone in on what I needed to focus on to move forward. It set in motion a journey of self discovery that had me surprised but clarified very clearly what I needed to do. You helped me reflect and set a plan rather than continuing to go round in circles! I can thoroughly recommend Robin for her professional and non judgemental approach to any challenge plus her patience and guidance through the process of getting clear about the next steps.
If you’re ready to start Fitting Out, and are looking for help, let’s have a chat to see how I can help you.